Family + Friends = Fantasic!

I’m a little over halfway through my 2011 Happiness Quest and I have learned many, many things about myself and what is important to me.  I just finished reading “No Great Mischief” by Canadian author, Alistair MacLeod.  The book resonated with me in a way few books do and it is because the Canadian and Scottish history that form the emotional core of the book capture the profound pride of place and family that has framed the life of my mother-in-law, Agnes.  It’s great, great reading – one of the very best pieces Canadian fiction and I could not put it down, reading the final chapters in the teeny bathroom of our camping trailer as my husband slept soundly.  If you know the passion and the pain that the Scots endured at the Battle of Culloden and its lasting scar on the soul of everyone of Scotch heritage, then you will feel the same spiritual connection to the book that I felt.

Why I am telling you all of this?  It’s because one line in the book may very well be the key to my little Happiness Quest.  It strikes me as a deeply revealing and quiet condemnation of modern life and its lonely consequences:  “the stars are seldom clearly seen above the pollution of prosperity”.

One of the things that often gets lost in the glaring lights of prosperity is our connection to family and to friends.  Throughout July, I took advantage of the slower speed of summer to give more time to the people who mean the most to me.  In addition to the evening spent with my Dad and stepmom on the tranquil waters of Six Mile Lake, we enjoyed a much less tranquil, in fact boisterous, picnic with my Mom, my siblings and almost all of our spouses and children.  We gathered at Springwater Provincial Park and had a great day of games, races (some of us, well one of us really, is VERY competitive but luckily his mom’s leg will mend with time) and, of course, food.  It is rare indeed for us to come together without the heavy overlay of some other occasion – Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter are our usual dates.  Personally, I really, really, really missed the annual Christmas rhythm band, but as Gord pointed out, I can shake my maracas any day of the year J

Late in the month, Gord and I also spent a glorious evening out on the Muskoka River and Lake Muskoka with Don and Vilenna, dear friends who are lucky enough to live on the river. Nothing tops a warm summer night with good friends, good food and flat water.

I had a wonderful dinner out with my friend, Stephanie. We usually have our husbands with us, but to be out just us girls with no schedule was really special. She pointed out to me that since my May project was less successful than I intended (the poorly chosen "fitness" theme) that I been blogging less and with a less positive tone. This is what real friends are for - I can't thank her enough for calling me on that - of course, she was absolutely right! She also shared some of photos from her trip to Slovenia - I travel Europe vicariously through her and it is a marvellous way to see the world!

I spent a Saturday morning with my friend, Joy. It was a wonderful time of bonding as friends who share so many challenges. Generally, when I am down, she is up and vice versa and our ability to openly share our burdens with complete trust is priceless.  We are caricatures of “superwomen” always trying desperately to be all things to all people, and our breakfasts are usually cut short by other commitments.  But on this day, we found hours to talk - we always manage to balance each other with a calm that is sorely needed, and always in the nick of time.

I have spent every Monday dinner with my Mom all year and after the first week of July, we take a summer sojourn.  These 2 hours every week with my Mom are a precious luxury – the 2 of us tripping over our words as we try to spill out each important thing that we need to share.  My how our relationship has grown and changed.  There will always be vestiges of my childhood perceptions of my Mom, but now I am blessed by the vision of her as a whole woman – one who has loved and lost, but one who continues to triumph daily in her ability to provide care and support to every member of her family.  Our conversations cover every aspect of our lives and there can be no more sacred conversations between mortals than those between mothers and daughters in the prime maturity of their lives.

Speaking of mothers and daughters, I also found time to spend one on one with both of my girls, Cait and Jac.  I simply cannot believe how they have grown.  Looking back to the days when they were learning to walk, I was always keen for them to get to the next “stage”, but now they are at the stage of independence and I hope to always convey to them how deeply I love them and my hopes for their happiness in a way that echoes the warmth of my own mother’s love and encouragement.

My sister and Me!

I have also managed to spend time with my sister, Jenn, a woman I greatly admire!  I would really like to be like her when I grow up!  She knows what I mean...Our friendship has deepened profoundly over the last decade – I thank God every day that I have a sister.  I love my three brothers just as much, but a sister is someone you can really talk freely to – as my own girls can attest J

What a great month.  It started with Gord and I camping at Bronte Creek and ended with Gord and I starting a 2-week camping trip to our favourite provincial park – Grundy Lake.  No matter what is going on in life, we always, always find quiet ways to spend time together and like the words from that great Snow Patrol song Chasing Cars to "just forget the world".

Listen to Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol