Great Quotes - Babasaheb

Bhimrao Ambedkar (aka Babasaheb) was a contemporary of Gandhi who fought for social justice and the eradication of the social caste system of India.  I love this quote that is attributed to him: 

"A great man is different from an eminent one in that he is ready to be the servant of society"

 

This is a great measure of success!

Great Quotes - Salvador Dali

My husband were recently in Bruges, Belgium and we stopped at an exhibit of works by Salvador Dali.  On our way into the Market building, there was a fabulous Dali quote framed in the window. Ever since I saw it, I have been saying this quote aloud every day (with a small substitution) and it never fails to bring a smile and a renewed positive attitude:

"Each morning when I awake, I am filled with the most exquisite sense of joy - the joy of being Salvador Dali.  And I say to myself, in a sort of rapture, 'what will he create today, this Salvador Dali?'"
 

Try saying this aloud, substituting your name for his:  Each morning when I awake, I am filled with the most exquisite sense of joy - the joy of being Cathy.  And I ask myself,  in a sort of rapture, 'what will she create today, this Cathy'.

Try it....really...I've talked a lot of people into it and they cannot help but smile!

Great Quotes - Benjamin Zander

On Sunday, my Minister reminded that I should still be blogging.  The truth is that I have been so busy living out happiness that I haven't been as busy seeking it.  The 18 months of intense searching for the source of happiness has led me to pursue a more authentic version of myself.  I am now in my second year of studies in the Master of Divinity program at Tyndale Seminary.  My oldest daughter got married this summer.  My husband's youngest son got married and my husband and I spent 10 glorious days in Europe - happiness abounds.

Lately, I have been coming across some great quotes that are absolutely worth sharing.  The first is one that is said by Benjamin Zander.  Benjamin is the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Symphony and gives an inspiring talk on TED.com.  He tells a story of a friend of his who survived Auschwitz - her parents did not.  On the train to Auschwitz, she looked down at the feet of her 8 year old brother and noticed his shoes were missing.  She yelled at him, as a big sister would, saying "can't you keep your things together".  It would be the last thing she would ever say to him, as he did not survive either.  Zander then quotes her as saying:

"I made a vow never to say anything that I could not live with as the last thing I might say".

These are inspiring words.  Can you honestly commit to that concept?  Never speak an unkind word, an angry word, a thoughtless word.  Consider that every time you speak to someone it may be the last thing you ever say to them - this is an awesome responsibility.  Try it for a week - you never know, it could become addictive...

To hear Benjamin Zander's entire inspiring talk about the healing power of classical music:

TED.com - Benjamin Zander

The End of a Remarkable Year!

It has now been several months since I have had a chance to post anything to my Happiness Quest blog.  It isn't becasue I have fallen into a pit of despair - in fact, it's just the opposite.  Exactly one year ago I was in an abyss and I knew that I had to take immediate steps to get myself back on track.  This blog has been such an important part of this journey.  I have learned so much about myself and and my place in the world around me.  All of the lessons probably all should have been obvious, but for many reasons I couldn't see them clearly.

I started out in January trying to figure out why I wasn't happy, given that I do lead a somewhat charmed life.  And I did figure it out.  I have read many, many books this year and every single one of them has taught me something profound.  I have taken each of those threads and woven them into a new tapestry - one that is much more brightly coloured than I could have anticipated.


Willa Cather



There are three books that have had the biggest impact:  The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt, the How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky, and Travelling Light by Max Lucado.  By the end of June I started to think that I had the puzzle figured out and that I should indeed follow Lyubomirsky's advice of taking my 4 key strengths and develop them further, rather than trying to fix things that I'm not that good at.  These 4 strengths are also the things that motivate me the most:  being kind and compassionate to others, finding flow (or peak intellectual stimulation), maintaining optimism and savouring joy. I also kept coming back to a quote by Willa Cather, a great early 20th century American Pulitzer Prize winning novelist.  Haidt quotes her: "At any rate, that is happiness:

to be dissolved into something complete and great".

Essentially, Haidt and Lyubomirsky, Marty Seligman (check out Authentic Happiness) and Daniel Gilbert all agree that you need to figure out what you need to pursue to be your most authentic self  - where you are engaged in something that frees you from the tyranny of modern living and allows you to give back to the world in a way that blesses others.

I realized that I had always wanted to go to grad school and complete a Master's degree - I just couldn't quite land on what program to take.  I knew it wasn't going to be sociology which is what I did my undergrad in - what would I do with an MA in sociology?  It's a miracle I have made a career with my BA! Early in my career I was a federal parole officer and I loved it and have always wanted to return.  I also love history and spend the majority of my vacations chasing down historical sites.  I have spent hours reading philosophy from Socrates to Descartes.  I also love theology and pastoral care counselling.  I realized that I could combine all of these areas of interest into a single Master's program, so in August I thought I would apply to take one course this fall.  That turned into my late and unexpected acceptance into the full Master of Divinity program at Tyndale Seminary - Class of 2014 :-) 

Continuum of Happiness

What a marvellous fall I have had.  Going back to school full time while working full time has been an exciting challenge.  I have never loved studying more.  I am hoping to be a Chaplain in a correctional facility at the end of all of this - after I retire  from my current job.  My boss has allowed me to flex my hours at work so that I can take a compulsory daytime course.  My family has been amazing! I now know for sure what happiness looks like - I see it in the mirror every day. What is the most intersting thing of all is that it turns out Dorothy was right in the Wizard of Oz - if you can't find happiness in your own backyard maybe you never really lost it to begin with.  My own Continuum of Happiness and my Happiness Cycle, that I designed very early in the year, held the key all along...

Happiness Cycle

My blog will continue in the New Year.  I am looking forward to seeing how the journey continues - I hope you will journey with me...
  

Sisters, Sisters, There Were Never Such Devoted Sisters!

Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen Sing "Sisters"
 in White Christmas

Sisters
Sisters
There were never such devoted sisters

All kinds of weather
We stick together
The same in the rain or sun
Two diff'rent faces
But in tight places
We think and we act as one

Those who've
Seen us
Know that not a thing could come between us

Okay, I may have left a few of the lyrics out of the great "Sisters" song by Irving Berlin, made famous by Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen (or Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye) in the movie White Christmas.  But I left in the really important parts.

I love this song because almopst every year for at least a decade my sister and I got together to watch this movie - sometimes at Christmas and sometimes in the middle of summer.  Nothing picks me up from a cloudy day quite like this old movie.

My sister, Jenn, and I are almost 11 years apart in age.  By the time she was 7, I was already heading off to university.  In some ways, it's like we grew up in totally different families.  Even when she was little though, she was always my faithful companion - I never had to look far for a movie buddy because she was always available.  Until she was in school everyone at home called her "Babe".  Then we called her Jenny and now Jenn.  When I moved back and forth across the country, she was my most faithful correspondent and she is the only member of my family to have seen every single house I ever lived in - she missed my first apartment - just as well!  Nevertheless, we were always years apart and at different stages of our life.  I got to give out older sister sisterly advice - some of which was probably truly awful :-)

But now, we have really hit our sweet spot.  Now that we are in the middle third of our lives (haha) it no longer seems like there is any difference in our ages.  We think the same way and we react to things the same way - this isn't always a good thing but it always gives us something to laugh about.  We can completely trust each other and completely rely on each other in good times and bad.

I am counting my blessings!

My Daughters

I hope that many of you are fortunate enough to have daughters.  I have 2 beautiful daughters who are now young women well on their way to being accomplished adults.  And that makes me very proud, but that is not the best part...

The best part is that they know right from wrong, speak wisely, listen carefully, and care about others.  Both of them are taking the advice of Henry David Thoreau and are going boldly in the direction of their dreams. They are at that crucial stage of life where they have some options and are now choosing between an easy, obvious road and a road less travelled and each of them is giving thoughtful consideration to the choices.  At the end of every day, I thank God for each of them.

When the girls were quite little, their father moved away.  It was heartbreaking.  But together we overcame that obstacle and have continued on a remarkable journey of learning to face challenges and to never, ever let others make us feel badly about ourselves.  There is a certain kind of empowerment that they have that is inspiring.

We are approaching that golden phase where we will be mainly the best of friends, leaning on each other for support...before our roles eventually reverse and they start to provide me with care.  Right now, they are sensitive and supportive and fun and fabulous!!

"Raise up a child in the way she should go and when she is old, even when she is old, she will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

Family + Friends = Fantasic!

I’m a little over halfway through my 2011 Happiness Quest and I have learned many, many things about myself and what is important to me.  I just finished reading “No Great Mischief” by Canadian author, Alistair MacLeod.  The book resonated with me in a way few books do and it is because the Canadian and Scottish history that form the emotional core of the book capture the profound pride of place and family that has framed the life of my mother-in-law, Agnes.  It’s great, great reading – one of the very best pieces Canadian fiction and I could not put it down, reading the final chapters in the teeny bathroom of our camping trailer as my husband slept soundly.  If you know the passion and the pain that the Scots endured at the Battle of Culloden and its lasting scar on the soul of everyone of Scotch heritage, then you will feel the same spiritual connection to the book that I felt.

Why I am telling you all of this?  It’s because one line in the book may very well be the key to my little Happiness Quest.  It strikes me as a deeply revealing and quiet condemnation of modern life and its lonely consequences:  “the stars are seldom clearly seen above the pollution of prosperity”.

One of the things that often gets lost in the glaring lights of prosperity is our connection to family and to friends.  Throughout July, I took advantage of the slower speed of summer to give more time to the people who mean the most to me.  In addition to the evening spent with my Dad and stepmom on the tranquil waters of Six Mile Lake, we enjoyed a much less tranquil, in fact boisterous, picnic with my Mom, my siblings and almost all of our spouses and children.  We gathered at Springwater Provincial Park and had a great day of games, races (some of us, well one of us really, is VERY competitive but luckily his mom’s leg will mend with time) and, of course, food.  It is rare indeed for us to come together without the heavy overlay of some other occasion – Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter are our usual dates.  Personally, I really, really, really missed the annual Christmas rhythm band, but as Gord pointed out, I can shake my maracas any day of the year J

Late in the month, Gord and I also spent a glorious evening out on the Muskoka River and Lake Muskoka with Don and Vilenna, dear friends who are lucky enough to live on the river. Nothing tops a warm summer night with good friends, good food and flat water.

I had a wonderful dinner out with my friend, Stephanie. We usually have our husbands with us, but to be out just us girls with no schedule was really special. She pointed out to me that since my May project was less successful than I intended (the poorly chosen "fitness" theme) that I been blogging less and with a less positive tone. This is what real friends are for - I can't thank her enough for calling me on that - of course, she was absolutely right! She also shared some of photos from her trip to Slovenia - I travel Europe vicariously through her and it is a marvellous way to see the world!

I spent a Saturday morning with my friend, Joy. It was a wonderful time of bonding as friends who share so many challenges. Generally, when I am down, she is up and vice versa and our ability to openly share our burdens with complete trust is priceless.  We are caricatures of “superwomen” always trying desperately to be all things to all people, and our breakfasts are usually cut short by other commitments.  But on this day, we found hours to talk - we always manage to balance each other with a calm that is sorely needed, and always in the nick of time.

I have spent every Monday dinner with my Mom all year and after the first week of July, we take a summer sojourn.  These 2 hours every week with my Mom are a precious luxury – the 2 of us tripping over our words as we try to spill out each important thing that we need to share.  My how our relationship has grown and changed.  There will always be vestiges of my childhood perceptions of my Mom, but now I am blessed by the vision of her as a whole woman – one who has loved and lost, but one who continues to triumph daily in her ability to provide care and support to every member of her family.  Our conversations cover every aspect of our lives and there can be no more sacred conversations between mortals than those between mothers and daughters in the prime maturity of their lives.

Speaking of mothers and daughters, I also found time to spend one on one with both of my girls, Cait and Jac.  I simply cannot believe how they have grown.  Looking back to the days when they were learning to walk, I was always keen for them to get to the next “stage”, but now they are at the stage of independence and I hope to always convey to them how deeply I love them and my hopes for their happiness in a way that echoes the warmth of my own mother’s love and encouragement.

My sister and Me!

I have also managed to spend time with my sister, Jenn, a woman I greatly admire!  I would really like to be like her when I grow up!  She knows what I mean...Our friendship has deepened profoundly over the last decade – I thank God every day that I have a sister.  I love my three brothers just as much, but a sister is someone you can really talk freely to – as my own girls can attest J

What a great month.  It started with Gord and I camping at Bronte Creek and ended with Gord and I starting a 2-week camping trip to our favourite provincial park – Grundy Lake.  No matter what is going on in life, we always, always find quiet ways to spend time together and like the words from that great Snow Patrol song Chasing Cars to "just forget the world".

Listen to Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol